Marriage: Star lights and Thunderstorms

Marriage experiences about how some days you will want to quit, you may even struggle at times to maintain a desire to work at it.

I have either talked to others who have a strong desire for marriage or read some posts with the same messages. I read some posts from a FB friend sharing thoughts from marriage experiences about how some days you will want to quit, you may even struggle at times to maintain a desire to work at it. I started contrasting the hunger and craving for marriage of those who are single with the realities of hard work entailed in making a marriage work. Marriage is a beautiful experience and a wonderful journey when two people understand that some days there will be Star lights and the next day there could be thunderstorms. Unfortunately, there are too many who only prepare themselves for the star lights and ignore the preparation for the thunderstorms.

We walk onto the car lot and we finally decide here is my dream car, I cannot wait to drive it home, show it to my family and friends and just enjoy the benefits. Do not get it twisted, a car is an inanimate object, I know that it does not begin to compare with the institution of marriage, with its ups and downs. You made a decision on the investment of that car and before you purchased it, the only mesmerizing thoughts you entertained were its beauty, its comfort, the ride, the esteemed pride, the feeling of accomplishment and achievement. Then one morning you wake up, you need a new set of tires, the water pump broke, and then there are those monthly maintenance fees of oil changes, and laborious or costly car washes to keep it shining. When your goal of marriage is still in the dream stages, you are left with nothing but to daydream about the benefits and how much more wonderful your life will become, once you achieve it. Dinner is now you and your mate star gazing into each other’s eyes while you spoon feed each other dessert J, a permanent movie date, road trips, and more importantly, 24-7 intimacy.

Marriage is a beautiful experience and a wonderful journey when two people understand that some days there will be Star lights and the next day there could be thunderstorms. Click To Tweet

As someone who was once single for a really long time, I can attest to my vision of marriage as a continuous flow of starlight moments. However, as in real life, there are ups and downs in everything. The real test, the real struggle with enjoying marriage is not looking forward to just the star lights because if you believe, during your singleness, that this is the wonderful life that awaits you, the first thunderstorm you experience will bring you down from your high as quickly as a Mike Tyson knock out in the first round. A real relationship, a real marriage, has disagreements, test of patience, that is overcome through unconditional love. The thunderstorms were never meant to last forever because the strength of your love should help the both of you to open an umbrella, cover yourselves, and protect your love until the thunderstorms pass over. Then the star lights will return casting a brilliant light in your marriage, strengthening your desire to keep fighting, and giving you both the will power to prepare for the next thunderstorms – because they will come.

Yep, that new S series Mercedes is beautiful but it comes with maintenance requirements just as marriage comes with work and then some more work. But if you don’t put in the work, you will wake up one day and not even recognize the beauty you once envisioned. If you are not willing to pay the costs of your decision, your investment, the star lights will give way to only thunderstorms. Find a way to continuously weather those thunderstorms, because once you do, it shall not be compared with the joy and blessings that are to come.

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Mother, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister, motivational speaker, minister, published author, corporate executive, NFL sports fan. In relationships, my passion is to inspire and encourage – healing the hearts of women one heartbeat at a time.  Leadership is successful when it entails more influencing and empowering and less dictating.

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